BloodCover 3.3.10

Today I left from class and headed straight to church seeing that it was already 6 pm and it'd take me roughly 30min to get to the North campus - couldn't miss 7pm communion. While in route I decided to stop by McDonalds to grab a sprite (because of the 1 dollar deal) and a large fry - unsalted - that means you get'em hot. Trick of the trade. Lol and before I put my car in drive to exit the drive-thru lane I playfully squeezed a packet of ketchup on to my gorgeously-fresh-hot-fries.

Now picture me leaving the parking lot stuffing my mouth with these delicious fries with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand in my satchel of prized and much coveted goodies. Well as fate would have it I picked a cluster of ketchup fries and proceeded to shove them in my mouth but to my dismay one of them had the audacity to fall on my nicely ironed sky blue v-neck sweater vest that matched my button down shirt underneath. Wow you say? Wow is how I felt. I couldn't believe I just dropped a good fry on my shirt. By this time I was approaching the parking lot of the church. I finally made my way to the spot I had claimed long before coming and proceeded to park.

The next thing I did was look at the new addition of color on my vest and the first thing in my mind was "I can't go in here looking like this." This was a fashion faux pa. Immediately a thought came to mind "maybe I can put soda on it to release the stain." Well I tried and to no avail. The more I meddled with it the worse-off it got. Afterward, I concluded again that I couldn’t and wasn't going into church with the stain. Then suddenly another thought came, I had a scarf in the back and “if strategically placed maybe I could cover it up with that.” "Nah that wouldn’t work" I thought to myself.

Ironically, something (which I believe is the spirit) said to me "do you do me like this?" Whoa! Who said that! I thought for a second and contemplated the question and since I tend to be a rather spiritual person I asked it to expound. And the spirit spoke saying "the blood of Jesus covers you. When I look at you I see my son - do you? Are you ashamed to allow others see the red stain on you?" Wow is all I could say...In an effort not to dampen the impact of this statement I’ll end here and allow you to “examine” yourself.

Selah.

“O what can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus”

Man in the Mirror pt.3

No use of giving a bunch of excuses so I’ll just jump right in. I must forewarn you that some of this may be rated TV-RE for TV-Revealing. Lol corny I know. Oh! and i know it says part 3 not 2...that's because i'm still working on 2. Enjoy!

As you may know I just moved to Austin Texas a few weeks ago to start my master’s program at the LBJ School in public affairs. Since my being here I believe God has been allowing things good/bad to happen to me for a reason. I don’t quite know what it is yet, but soon to find out. Am I worried? No, I believe everything has a purpose and maybe these things are to shape me into the person He will present to the world at the appointed time.

Now to the subject at hand; Last night was very thought provoking yet beneficial for me. Since I arrived at UT I’ve been dealing with the emotions: intimidation, apprehension, doubt, etc. about my abilities, my being here, and what I’m to accomplish while here. In a very cliché-ish way I would say little phrases to help me mitigate all the aforementioned feelings and emotions. But honestly, it was only a way to “cover” the pain I was afraid to reveal and be healed from. But I guess the Father had a different plan for me on last night.

While leaving my last class around 8:50 p.m. I had this thought or idea that I dealt with “pride.” Me=Pride? Oh heavens no! So as many of us do, I shrugged it off and continued in route to my car. While approaching the elevator I was greeted by a really good friend I’ve come to know since my arrival. He showed me a speech given by the Late Ted Kennedy’s son and the part that stuck out the most was how his father was dedicated to perseverance and admonished him to work harder than those who “have it easy” due to their “talents” and skill sets-to be triumphant in the end. After reading the passage my friend looks over and says, “dude, I’m not the smartest guy here, and many times I’m the one in class who’s like what did he say? And I don’t feel back because I know that even though I’m not the smartest now and they [the smarter people] may have it easy, if I work hard now-regardless of how dumb I look now (because that doesn’t matter) three years from now I’ll be exactly where I want to be with the knowledge to sustain and keep me there. All because I was willing to work hard and take what those smart people were saying/doing and using it to my advantage. “

Right then it became apparent that I was living behind a mask. I then began to confess: “dude, you don’t know how much you just helped me. For the longest I felt as if I had to always be on my stuff or live up to the name I had established. It was like falling short was taboo or something. Coming from Prairie View I was on my stuff and people knew me would tell you ‘yeah Johnie is on his stuff.’ And coming here I had this impression that everyone was expecting the same out of me. But in reality I’m starting at the ground level again and that’s totally okay.” He replies, “dude, many times people ask me stuff and I tell’em I don’t have all the answers…that’s why I’m here.”

And throughout the night, that was the one thing that stuck with me, “I don’t have all the answers…that’s why I’m here.” I was dealing with pride but wouldn’t admit it. I had apprehension, trepidations, reservations, etc. all because I was unwilling to face the fact that I was not being truthful with myself. I then confessed my sin to God and asked for grace to overcome this battle. Please pray for me as well. It just hit me that growth could not take place when I was in a suit that hindered it. You get it?

Man In the Mirror: pt. 1

Hey Family,

I apologize for not staying committed to writing the blogs. It's not a hassle (as the enemy may try to make me believe) but it is something i have to work on. It's a privilege to share what God is doing in my life. I guess that's the way i should start looking at it from now on...huh.

Well quick update: I've been dealing with some things these last few weeks. As you know I was fortunate to take a trip to Burundi Africa with my church Community of Faith (wwww.communityoffaith.tv) and Befriend the Batwa people. OMG! what an awesome experience. I encourage anyone who can, to take a trek to the MotherLand.

God really moved. During prayer time someone mentioned in their prayer, "God we're not expecting what you will do, but that you will do something..." And going over there I was expecting God to do something specific rather than just expecting him to move in the lives of his people. And He didn't move as Johnie had plan or expected, however, he did move and I'm still struggling with the affect of it right now.

What was it? He showed me what a real relationship looked like, and i didn't comprehend it. The scriptures says in John how when Jesus came, he came with the light of men. That light shined into the darkness and it [darkness] understood it not. That was literally me when i went to Burundi. God shined His divine light-of what a true relationship looks like-and i couldn't understand. Truth be told, i was too blinded by what society has lead us to believe what a relationship is suppose to look like-and that is what i can get out of the deal?

Take a second to examine yourself...Okay let's finish the story.

Suffice to say, i was floored when i met those wonderful people. I saw what it meant to have a "true" relationship with self, with your neighbor, and with God. I learned that it wasn't all about what i can get but rather what can i give. What can i do. How can i make them [the other person] better. And when i look at the bible and all of the many examples of God's grace i see clearly how He is the master at massaging a relationship. And how i was a "master" at only accepting it not trying to reciprocate.

Now I'm not trying to condemn myself to dust, but i am holding the mirror pretty close to my life-so to say-so i can see what impurities need to be washed away. For too long i've acted liked i didn't have spiritual pimples but i faced reality in Africa-and I do. Therefore, I need "GodActive." And don't get me wrong, I'm still dealing with the act of accepting this truth and applying it to my everyday life. Currently, I'm faced with a situation that i will have to rely solely on God to strategically order my steps as tread this, so that i don't hinder him from getting the Glory out of this situation.

My prayer now is: God grant me the grace, the ability, the strength to walk in your likeness when it comes to loving my neighbor as myself, loving myself in respect to the Holy Spirit's temple, and loving You like the kind, giving, compassionate Father you are.

Isaiah 41:10 Hold my hand Father as i walk.

Hey guys,

Hope all is well. 2 flights down and one more to go. We've been in the air for atleast every bit of 18 hours. Well i'm in Nairobi for a layover. I was suppose to only be here for about 2 hours but it ended up being longer. I just found out that i wont leave here until 1:20 AM-ish in the morning. Tired is an understatement. Please pray for my strength. "no rest for the weary." So far the trip has been awesome. I'm meeting so many cool people its unbelievable. I'm so excited about whats to come that it's unbelievable. God is gonna do a mighty work here. Well I have to go "mac-daddy" is only 87% as i write this and i need to conserve as much as i can.

-God is still faithful...

Burundi: Part 1 - On a Mission of Life

Hey Faithful Family,

I know it's been a very long time since i last posted something on here. It's my prayer now to get better...but I have a MAC now so i can do the videos when i don't feel like writing. And many times that's the case. I just don't feel like writing. Bless God for the Mac and webcam..lol

Well a quick update: I'm going to Burundi Africa on a mission trip with my church Community of Faith (www.communityoffaith.tv). Our mission is to strengthen the already established relationship the church has with the Batwa people. I truly believe God is going to move in a mighty way during this trip.

In addition, i have an unction to confirm this belief. Every time i think about Africa, every time some mentions something about my trip i get this "rumble" in my belly as if there is something on the inside of me like a spring, or well, or something. You know how you feel when you get excited, or nervous, or your adrenaline is pumping? Well that's what i feel-all 3.lol

As i close, i ask all who reads this post to please be in prayer for me, the team, and the people we're going to help. We leave sunday June 14 2009 and return on Friday June 26, 2009. Mama if you're reading this-know that i love you. Daddy if you get a chance to read this-Know that i'm glad to say that you're my daddy! I love you Pop! And to everyone else who's connected to me I love you always.

In Mark Jesus told the desciples to go into all the earth and "Preach the good news." I plan to do just that...

I aint "Tricken"

I was sitting at home watching CNN and this thought came to mind so tell me what you think. T.I. Said in a rap "it ain't tricking if you got it" to mean if I've got what I'm talking about then I'm not lying. I believe this statement derived from so many rappers claiming, in their songs, to have things that they really didn't; which in turn influenced young, aspiring, and upcoming artists to follow the already blazed trail of claiming to have things that they've only heard of. And this is detrimental to the business because it dilutes the message and image of the industry. \

I believe its safe to say that there are some "christians" who have been claiming to have Christ and they really don't; which in turn influences aspiring, or incoming children of God to follow the already blazed trail of claiming to have something they've only heard of. And this is detrimental to the "Body" because in a sense it dilutes the message and alters the image for others who are edgy about joining the family.

Chew on this!

Do you want a piece...?

Hey,

I was in the mall today (12-13-08) with a friend of mine and we went to a few stores. Well while we were in the last store I kind of sat to the side, to allow her shopping room, and to give me an opportunity to observe the people coming into the store-something I like to do from time to time.

As I observed people coming in and out I noticed people with nice clothes, bad clothes and mediocre clothes. I noticed people with "saks fifth avenue" bags, "gucci" bags, "louis vouton" bags, and "ralph lauren" bags. At that time I was reminded of the type of cars I noticed when we drove up. I noticed the benz, bmw, Bentley, and some other expensive foreign cars.

Well as I was sitting there I began to grow an appetite-if you will-to shop. Now you may ask yourself is that possible and my answer is YES! And I'll prove it. As I was looking at all the "high end" people with "high end" stuff I began to crave "high end" stuff as well. I began to desire a new pair of shoes, a new pair of slacks, etc. But reality set in when I thought about how much I had to spend in relation to how much the item I lusted over cost.

So in other words I couldn't afford it. At that moment I got a startling revelation that sparked my interest to write this blog.

As I was sitting there observing the holy spirit challenged me to analyze what I saw. I then began to ask myself, "do I want those "things" because I really need/want them or because external forces say I should buy them?" I was honest with myself and said, "I only want them to look good or show people that I have the money to wear things only "high end" people can afford to wear."

Sounds bad huh? Well If you'll be honest with yourself you too think/feel the same way. Now you may say, "no I don't, I buy things because they make me feel good" or "I really wanted one of those for a very long time." I beg to differ with you my friend-you buy because you're told to buy.

As we were driving home we engaed in a dialogue and began to analyze and even scrutinize why some people buy what they buy, and shop where they shop.

The gist of that converstion-and further cause to write this blog-was, "society packages what they feel average joes or consumers should buy or be attracted to. So they make it seem as if that mercedes benz is the top of the line car because this athlete, actress, singer, or preacher drives it. They put in your head that you should go get one-however you can-so that you can relate/participate in the same status/realm as the people aforementioned. We then as a people go and spend, spend, spend, and spend until we're spending money we no longer have just to keep up with what "society" says we should have. Kind of like keeping up with the Jones'. It doesn't sink in yet? Think about holidays how people just go crazy only to go in debt to buy someone a gift. I personally believe that it is bad and almost a sin when we allow external forces to persuade us to buy things we really don't need. To prove it the bible says, "its not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out." Can I make this work for me? Thanks! Its okay to be attacked by external forces because the attacks don't "defile" me but its bad when I began to act on what's on the inside of me. You get it? So when I go buy those $100 dollar shoes when I have 3 pair at home that are similar, I have to ask myself "did I buy them because they will genuinely make me happy or was there an external force driving me to buy them?" Now many of you won't admit to an external force because you've been sub consciously brain washed to believe that you buy or shop because you REALLY like it. Wrong! Now don't get me wrong I don't oppose those who desire the "nice things" if you're not driven by an external force but I am against those who are. I mean let's be real what aren't we driven to buy by external forces? -no I did not contradict myself its still in context. Lol"

So as a consequence of these forces I must wake up and I ask myself the question "do I need this?" And this goes for EVERYTHING. And this is a must because the forces are so prevalent they're affecting everything and everyone such as: women (e.g. Breast augmentation, botox, etc.). They affect relationships (e.g. People enjoy the idea of liking someone and not actually the person due to comercialized relationships. They make it seem as if its okay to "sex" everybody "in the city" and have no strings attached. When in reality a real relationship takes work). Last, they affect the church (e.g. Preachers preach sermons that make you feel good or comfortable versus a sermon that challenges the way you live and how you handle your finances. And they preach series on how to obtain materials. They're basically saying, "get as many materials as you can get-God doesn't mind. He wants you to have them") which is totally contradictory to what I believe.

I believe we should be using our resources to touch,change, and enhance the lives of those who need it. Not horde up stuff. The bible says, "if you give unto the least of them, you have given unto me." And we can't give because we're so busy trying to GET. Okay let me ask, "when was the last time you gave to God?" I'm talking about outside of your $2 dollar offering-but you bought a $50 dollar purse, or your $20 dollar tithes-but you bought a $75 dollar ticket to go see John Legend? Huh when was the last time you donated your "good" clothes to those who didn't have any or to a mission trip in Africa? Yep I'm coming down your street with this one.

"Children of God" wake up! We're falling into the trap of the enemy everyday. The enemy is not worried about us affecting change in the world because he knows he has occupied like that porta potty-you'll get it on your way home.

Chew on this: do you still want a piece...?